??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
