Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
