I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
