After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Who died my cat blue again?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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