I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize