there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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