i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
