she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
