He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
