i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
