The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
