just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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