We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Randomize
