So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
