i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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