I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
