my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
