Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
