Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
