I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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