did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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