Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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