4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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