Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
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