This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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