think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
