I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
