I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
