Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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