physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
