Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I understand Curling. That high.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
