Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
