Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
