i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
