I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Help. Why am I so naked?
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