She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
