Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Your mouth is God's brothel.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
