i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
