Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
