We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
