My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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