i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
