Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Randomize
