Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
