I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She's the barista slut.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
