You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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