I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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