She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I pour the whiskey from now on
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
