I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
