Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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