just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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