What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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