Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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