You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I forgot how hot balto sounded
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
