every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
