Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
