You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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