whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
