yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
My vagina just recognized that song.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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