My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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