I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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