the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
